How Not to Write a Blog

I have been writing Deep Dark Thoughts for over two years now, writing about my friends and family, daily events, my childhood, my job and, occasionally, things that for some reason just irritate the crap out of me. It has been frustrating, cathartic, enjoyable, and everything in between and I hope to continue writing this blog for many years to come.

Those that read this blog may wish I would just go away, but you don’t get a vote. Sorry.

While Deep Dark Thoughts has been around, it has led to many interesting conversations about blogging. Usually, I will be talking with a friend, family member, or a complete stranger and the subject of blogging will just naturally come up.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

“Do you want ham or turkey on your sandwich?”

“Why yes, I do write a blog. Thanks for your interest.”

Okay, sometimes I have to insert it into the conversation with a hammer. But once it does come up, I typically get the same response.

“You write a blog? Is it any good?”

I try to explain that “good” is really a subjective qualification, and that everyone has different opinions of what is good or bad. And, yes, even to my own ears it sounds like I’m saying:

“No. No, it really isn’t good at all. You should stay as far away from it as possible.”

The person I’m talking to will often say they would like to read some of my blog posts, and they ask where they can find it. I tell them how to find me and sometimes even recommend a particular post they should read. A few weeks later, I find that person and I ask if they liked my blog. Generally, the response I get is:

“You write a blog? Is it any good?”

It can get a little discouraging. And repetitive.

The second most common question I get is: “Is it hard to write a blog?”

If you are reading this page right now then you have probably already figured out that the answer to that question is, “no.” Clearly, if I can keep a blog going for two years, then any chimpanzee with a computer can a write a blog. If you have $15 you can buy a domain name, and there are dozens of companies out there that are happy to give you a free platform to set up a webpage. After that, just start typing words on the screen and voila! You have a blog.

The tough part, honestly, is staying dedicated long enough to build consistency. If you get bored after about three posts (which I have seen happen to quite a few bloggers out there) and your webpage is only getting updates every couple of months or so, you should probably go look for something you find more interesting to do with your time.

Question number three seems to be: “What do you write about?”

I write about nothing of any real consequence, but a blog can have any theme or topic you want. If you want to write about dinosaurs, write about dinosaurs. If you want to write about girl scout cookies, then write about that. If you feel contentious, put the two together and try to convince people that girl scout cookies were what originally killed off all the dinosaurs.

Any topic is fair game. Personally, I try to avoid topics that have anything to do with politics or religion because I do this whole blogging thing for fun, and getting my house firebombed by some nut job with an opposing viewpoint to my own does not seem like a lot of fun.

Of course, if you like to live on the edge, your blog can be about whatever violence-triggering subject works for you. You can title it: WHAT GOD DID YOU VOTE FOR? Then we can all sit back and see what the comments page looks like over the next few days. Hopefully, the death threats stay to a minimum.

Question number four: “Do you make much money doing a blog?”

This is typically met by a great deal of laughter on my part, followed by a few tears.

Question number five about blogging is most often something along the lines of: “Oh, you’re still talking about your blog? I thought we were done with that.”

That’s when I take the hint, add a drink to the sandwich order, and go sit down to eat my meal alone.

To anyone that may have started reading this blog because the title made them think I was actually going to give helpful information about starting a blog, I apologize. I have nothing constructive to offer. In two years of doing this, there is only one thing of which I am 100% absolutely certain:

If you can’t decide between ham or turkey, get both on the same sandwich. It’s delicious.

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