Back to the Movies

For the first time in almost eighteen months, I went to see a movie in an actual movie theater. I was one of only about ten people brave enough for the outing in a theater built to hold about ninety. That just made the experience all the more fun, because there is nothing I love more than to watch a movie on a large screen in a theater that is almost completely empty. It’s private and public all at the same time. I can pretend that I’m doing something social, while simultaneously avoiding eye contact and conversation with others.

I used to go the movies all the time. It was one of my favorite activities and I took advantage of having free afternoons as often as possible. I even joined my local movie theater’s membership plan. I was a “diamond” member, which meant that I was watching more than 20 movies every year. Not a difficult level to achieve, given that I was going to the theater at least twice a month, every month.

Being a diamond member didn’t get me anything special. There weren’t any major discounts or special deals that went along with it. But it was kind of cool that when I opened the digital ap on my phone, there was a big glittery diamond under my name.

Regardless, that all changed last year. One week, I was sitting in a dark theater, watching the trailers for upcoming movies and trying to decide which ones I wanted to go see, the next week everything closed up and I was stuck on a steady diet of Netflix and HBO Max on my own couch for a year and a half.

It just wasn’t the same.

So, recently, when I saw the announcement that my favorite place was opening back up and showing first run movies again, I decided it was time to venture back out.

I was curious to see, after a year and a half of being closed, what sort of changes had occurred while the building was unoccupied. I was anticipating some renovations: new carpet, updated concessions stand, fancy lighting, or maybe a fresh coat of paint on the walls. Something. But nope. Everything was exactly as I remembered it. Exactly.

The carpet, walls, and lighting were unchanged. The walls remained decorated with the same red and yellow swoops of color that went out of style in the seventies. Even the bathrooms were identical. You would think the owners would make use of the down time to make a few repairs and clean some stuff up, but it appears they had more important things to do than maintain their facilities. I went into one of the bathrooms and found the same damaged tiles, non-working paper towel dispensers, and rude (though sometimes humorous) graffiti that had been in there two years ago.

I mean, come on. How many times do I need to stare at the same penis and hairy balls drawn on the wall before I finally get to view some new artwork? And I already knew that “Bill is a dick.” How about a few more recent updates on Bill’s character flaws?

That wasn’t all, either. The pre-movie ads were the same ads I had seen in March, 2020. The music piped in through the overhead speakers was the same. For all I know, the candy and popcorn being sold in the concessions stand was the exact same stuff I had seen on display all those months ago. It had just been packed away into some storage room in the back and dusted off later when it was time to re-open. When I tasted the popcorn I purchased during my outing, it seemed to strongly support this particular theory.

At least the movie was new.

Sort of. I mean, it was actually a sequel to a movie I had seen several years ago, and it used a lot of the same story lines, characters, and plot twists. But some of the dialog was new, so I guess that counts.

The only thing that was truly new about my trip to the movies, was the prices. Ticket costs and concessions prices were all slightly higher than I remembered them being last year. Not a lot higher, but enough to be noticed, and an extra buck or so on every item you purchase can add up quickly.

I wonder if this is eventually going to hurt their business. Especially since most movies currently being released in the theater are also being simultaneously released on various streaming services directly to home viewers. Why pay $16 for a ticket to see a movie that you can watch at home for free?

And I can make my own popcorn at home in the microwave for about 80 cents a bag that doesn’t taste like Styrofoam packaging peanuts out of a three-year-old box.

I’m not sure if I will be going out to see more movies in the near future, or if this was just a momentary nostalgic visit to see an old friend. I will have to wait and see how it goes. As much as I love seeing movies in a movie theater, I also love having money in my pocket. The two seem to be mutually exclusive at the moment.

For now, I may have to go back to downloading movies from the comfort of my own home for a while longer. It’s cheaper and more convenient, doesn’t require me to drive anywhere, and the graffiti in the bathroom gets changed more frequently.

I will miss that glittery diamond under my name, though.

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