Go Play Outside

When I was growing up, I loved television and video games as much as the next kid, but my favorite times were when I could get together with my friends in the great outdoors. This type of behavior was encouraged by every parent on the block. When the kids began to get a little stir crazy and started bouncing off of the walls, moms and dads everywhere would echo that well-known caveat, “Why don’t you go play outside?”

The, “or else,” usually remained silent, but we all heard it loud and clear.

Today, playing outside is neither encouraged nor desired. Kids prefer to be indoors and interact through electronic media, never physically interacting in any way. With the current pandemic situation in our world, this mindset is being reinforced by legal and medical authority.

It makes me sad. It makes me long for the times my friends and I gathered in groups and played until the sun set and our parents came outside to yell at us that dinner was ready.

I remember a favorite game of ours when I was a teenager. It was called, “bun-ball.” It wasn’t a real game, since we just made it up.

It was sort of a cross between handball and attempted murder.

All you needed to play bun-ball was a large open area with a brick or concrete wall, a tennis ball, and a group of friends who possessed a total disregard for human life and their own safety.

The rules were simple. The person with the ball, threw the ball at the brick wall. You had to hit the wall before the ball bounced on the ground. If it hit the ground first, it was a “skip,” and you got one point. You didn’t want points. Points were bad.

After the ball bounced off of the wall, if another player caught the ball before it hit the ground, the person who threw it got a point. Players could only catch the ball with one hand. If a player trying to catch the ball, dropped it, they must run and tag the wall before another player could grab the ball and hit the player that dropped it. If you get hit with the ball before you tag the wall… yup. You guessed it. That’s a point.

We learned quickly, that when you tag the wall you should keep running, since the player that picked up the ball after you dropped it is probably going to throw it at you anyway. Late hits were surprisingly frequent and, in some cases, quite deliberate. It may not cost you a point, but it’s still going to hurt.

If you use two hands or move the ball from one hand to the other, that is called a “bobble,” and it is the same as dropping the ball. You have to run and tag the wall before someone else nails you with the tennis ball.

Those were pretty much the rules. The fun part, however, started when one player got three points. This is also how the game got its name.

A player with three points had to curl up facing the wall, with their butt sticking out. It was your choice to kneel or stand. I recommend the kneeling approach since it makes a smaller target. Every other player then had one opportunity to throw the ball at the poor sap that had accumulated three points. The throwers stood far enough away that hitting their target was not a guarantee, but still close enough so the ball had sufficient momentum to do significant damage. After everyone had a turn humiliating and injuring their friend, the person with three points got reset to zero, and the game resumed.

My friends and I used to play this game on the tennis courts at school during recess. Today, I believe that playing bun-ball on school grounds would constitute about a half dozen felonies in California. Parents these days just get way too excited when their kid limps home with a bloody lip and circular bruises all over his ass.

Anyway, my point wasn’t that my friends were insane and intent on killing each other. My point was that we were all trying to kill each other outside! We inhaled fresh air through our broken noses and spat blood onto green grass, just as God intended.

I feel bad for kids that spend their entire lives indoors. This pandemic lockdown is going to end eventually, and when it does, I am afraid that the generation growing up now will choose to stay inside anyway. That’s just sad.

I want my kids to get out of the house and go play outside.

I know that there are plenty of activities we can do indoors to keep active and mentally stimulated, but it isn’t the same when you can’t look up and see the sky. It isn’t the same if you can’t run full speed without worrying about tripping over furniture.

Besides, there just isn’t enough space in the living room to throw a tennis ball.

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