Over the past couple weeks, the Wilbanks’ household has been dealing with some changes. We are not unique in this respect, I am sure, as most people are trying to adapt and make sense of the struggles in our world today. A very short time ago, people came and went freely, traveling from place to place without a second thought. Today, it feels as if we have all been placed on some type of world-wide house arrest.
I used to have the entire house pretty much to myself every day. My youngest daughter was off to college, and my wife and my oldest kid both had jobs to go to. That is no longer the case.
EM1 and my wife are both working from home these days, and EM2 was asked to pack up and move out of her college dorm room. She is back at home with the rest of us, attending classes remotely on her laptop. (Which is interesting to observe, since as a music major she is required to attend saxophone lessons and be graded on her performance.)
It is a bizarre dynamic. We could all be sitting on the couch one minute, then the next EM2 jumps up and says, “I have to go to class!” That is when she runs into her bedroom, closes the door, and we start to hear saxophone music throughout the house.
Similarly, EM1 will tell us, “I have to go to work.” She then locks herself in her room and starts recording worship music for a church service that will be uploaded onto the internet three days later. Her church is no longer conducting live services on Sundays, so EM1 and the pastor record their portions of the service during the week and splice it all together to post on Sunday mornings.
Between EM1 and EM2, the house is always filled with music. I guess that is a good thing, but I must admit I am more used to having absolute quiet during the day. It is a lot harder to take a nap and binge-watch movies when someone is playing scales over and over on a brass instrument.
Since my wife is home all day, she has started tagging along with me when I am running errands. This is both a blessing and a curse. The other day, we were on our way to the college to pick up EM2 and bring her home, when my wife looked at her phone and told me, “This isn’t good.”
I asked her what the problem was.
She said, “I need to go back home and answer this email. I have to make some phone calls.”
I made a U-turn, took her back to the house and then went to pick up my daughter by myself, 45 minutes later than originally planned.
This isn’t totally new, however. I have mentioned in a previous blog that she is a bit of a workaholic and does the same thing when she is supposed to be on vacation. (You can find that story here if you’re interested.) So, the fact that she has been told by her boss to stay home hasn’t slowed her down one bit. The only difference is now instead of ignoring her family from her job site, we all have to sit in the same room with her and watch her ignore us from three feet away.
The second biggest challenge with all of us being home is that during the slow times we struggle to find things to do that we can all enjoy. For example: we have run out of things to talk about. How can you have a conversation when all four of you are constantly together experiencing the exact same thing at all times?
Me: “Hey, something funny happened to me today while I was fixing myself some lunch.”
EM2: “Yeah, we all saw you do it, and it wasn’t really that funny.”
End of conversation.
So, we try to find other things to distract us from the boredom. We tried baking some cookies recently. That actually was kind of enjoyable, until EM1 sucked all the fun out of it by frosting the cookies so that they spelled out the word, “QUARANTINE!” She has a knack for focusing on the worst parts of anything. I swear, that kid could ruin a New Orleans funeral procession.
Most of the time we simply default to sitting on the couch and turning on the TV. This is not as relaxing as it sounds. The four of us rarely like the same movies or television programs and we argue about what to watch more than we actually watch anything. We recently instigated an “each person gets to pick one thing” policy, but that too has its drawbacks.
After watching a movie that I picked, EM1 got to choose what we saw next. She selected a music video of a K-Pop group (which was not surprising as this is just about the only thing she watches any more). The video was 15 minutes long and, when it ended, I said it was mom’s turn to choose.
EM1 then spent the next half hour complaining that I was not being fair since my movie was 90 minutes long and her video was only 15. I told her we each get to pick one thing to watch regardless of how long it was. EM1 just complained louder. I felt like I was lecturing a three year on how to take turns on a swing.
This is what my life has become.
I don’t foresee any major changes in the near future, so I’m strapping in for a long and bumpy ride. I understand why we all need to stay home. It’s for the greater good. I only hope that in my case, the cure isn’t worse than the disease.
With my family, it could go either way.
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