This week marks two years that Deep Dark Thoughts has been haunting the internet. Boy, time sure flies when you’re angry at the world and have a lot of useless crap to say about it. Weekly observations, rants, and general frustration with the people and events around me have filled these pages every Thursday for twenty-four months, and I see no reason to stop now.
Going into year three, however, I thought I might change things up just a bit. I think I have made it pretty clear to anyone reading these blogs that I am basically a cranky introvert that doesn’t trust people I don’t know, and has grave reservations about the ones that I do. But where did all that antisocial angst come from? It didn’t just appear overnight.
The answer to that question is not a simple one. It can’t be explained in just a few minutes, or even a few hours. I have had fifty-three years of experience and anecdotal evidence to support my conclusions that people are out to get me and the world is a horrible place, and it would take another fifty-three years to share it all with you here in DDT.
So, let’s get started.
Going forward, I will share not just the day to day disappointments my family and friends put me through, but I will also be giving readers a glimpse at the history of my life as I understand it. In other words: the day to day disappointments from my family and friends from years ago.
I have been feeling rather nostalgic lately, and I figured it was time to start sharing some of the older, more ridiculous moments in my life. We shall see soon enough if this is a brilliant idea, or just the beginning of the end for this blog.
In previous blogs, I have mentioned my perfectionist mother who lost her mind, as well as my alcoholic father. We may delve a little deeper into my relationships with those two people. I have been told that writing can be therapeutic, so we’ll give it a shot. Hopefully, it will also be entertaining to anyone curious enough to read about my early life growing up in a typical (?) 1970’s family.
I have also mentioned that I am a retired police officer. Perhaps I will write about how I got into law enforcement as a career and share a few stories about my days on the mean streets of California. I should probably check with my attorney first to make sure the stories I mention have all passed the statute of limitations for prosecutions.
By the way, what is the penalty for transporting an unconscious hooker over state lines? Just asking for a friend.
I taught martial arts for many years. I could write about that a little bit; discuss the ramifications of teaching hormonal teenagers the best locations on the human body to attack when trying to kill a person or knock them unconscious. There is definitely a reason that insurance premiums are through the roof for karate dojos.
What else should I talk about?
Well, what do you want to know? As a reader, has there been a past article you read that you wished I would elaborate on? Do you have questions you want me to answer, or are there comments I made that left you wanting further discussion on the topic?
Email me or post your comments below on this page. Let me know what interests you. Or just tell me what parts, if any, of the past two years of Deep Dark Thoughts you have enjoyed (or not enjoyed) the most.
For me, the best parts have been the comments and responses from friends and family who have read my blog. Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me for this long. I appreciate your encouragement, laughter, and willingness to recognize this is all just for entertainment and amusement.
I also enjoy the complaints from people claiming that I have grossly exaggerated the truth, and could I please stop making them look bad. Mostly I hear this from my kids, and I always tell them if they stop behaving like idiots, I will stop writing about them.
Clearly neither of us is going to stop.
To summarize: Happy second birthday, Deep Dark Thoughts. Here is to year three, and hopefully there will be many more.
Next week, we get back to business and discuss how Santa Claus is not the only person that has been climbing around on the Wilbanks’ rooftop. I hope you come back to see what I mean.
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