When my daughters came home from college this year, I suggested that they might want to find some summer jobs to keep busy and earn a little money before school starts up again in the fall. They both agreed that sounded like a good idea.
I offered to pay them to do some yard work around our house, but apparently that did not sound at all appealing. Either I was not offering to pay enough or, more likely, they did not consider anything around the house or yard worth doing. After all, I haven’t been able to get them to clean their rooms in twenty-two years, I don’t know what made me think I could get one of them to mow the lawn.
For the past month or so, both girls have been taking on jobs housesitting, babysitting, watering plants and caring for animals. All these little side jobs give them something to do each day instead of just sitting on the couch reminding me why I was so willing to pay a lot of money to send them away to school. They are also earning some decent wages. People will pay quite a bit more than I expected to know that their animals and yard are being taken care of while they are away on vacation.
And surprisingly, the girls are doing really well. Given my history with them, I fully expected the people that hired them to come home to brown, wilted plants in the house and brown, wilted animals in the back yard. But everything so far – fingers crossed – has gone smoothly.
The only glitch I have noticed is that when I suggested to the girls that they should get summer jobs, I didn’t realize that I, too would end up being saddled with a variety of summer jobs. Unpaid, summer jobs. Internships, I suppose you could call them.
After spending a morning in my own yard, weeding, gardening, and harvesting fruit off our trees, I hadn’t planned on spending my summer afternoons taking care of someone else’s property. However, it is becoming unpleasantly predictable that somewhere around one or two o’clock in the afternoon, I will hear one child or another tell me, “I forgot to water the plants at Mrs. ———‘s house. Can you drive me there?” Or, “I was supposed to take in the garbage cans and get the newspaper at Mr. ———‘s. Dad, can you go over there and do it? I don’t have time right now.”
Or my personal favorite: at eight o’clock at night, while EM1 was house sitting for some friends who live a half hour away, she called me to say, “There isn’t any food in this house, can you go pick me up something to eat and bring it to me? Oh, and while you’re out, can you stop at the grocery store and pick up a few things? I would really appreciate it.”
I think the most surprising part of this conversation is that she got what she wanted, and that was totally my fault. I should have reminded her of all the times I asked her to help me with chores and she refused, then hung up the phone, laughing maniacally. But there’s something about a child asking you to bring them food. Baby bird syndrome, I’ll call it. It makes me want to spit chewed up worms in her mouth.
Unpack that statement however you like.
Anyway, this whole ordeal makes me wonder what my life will be like when the girls go out and get real jobs. You know, the actual 8 to 5 routine. Long hours, short lunches, and angry bosses. Am I still going to get phone calls asking for help? “Dad, I was the last one at the store and I forgot to lock up. Can you go close out the register and lock the doors for me?” Or, “I’m in surgery right now, but I forgot my lunch. Can you pick me up something and bring it to the hospital?”
Okay, that last one was just wishful thinking, but who doesn’t want a doctor in the family?
All I know for certain right now is that I seem to get sucked into helping the kids with whatever tasks they agree to do for our neighbors and friends, and I’m not making a penny doing it. This seems very wrong, especially when EM2 tells me that she just got paid $100 to go pet someone’s cat for five minutes. A cat that I probably fed, bathed, and cleaned their litter box.
From now on, if EM1 or EM2 take on a new job, I’m not going to lift a finger to help. They are the ones getting paid for it, so they can do all the work. If either one of them suddenly find themselves in trouble and they need my assistance because they forgot to do something, or need my help at the last second…
Yeah, who am I kidding?
I’ll probably do it.
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